In my line of work, I have the luxury of discussing with men certain things that social graces dictate that most woman not talk about. 

I get asked a lot about the best way to please a woman. Hint: it may not be what you think/assume it is. It may seem like women are difficult to please. That is sometimes true, or it may be that you're not listening. The following tips are based on 26 years of being a woman, and may not be true for all women, but might be helpful nevertheless.

1. Compliment us. We put a lot of time, energy, and money into being pretty. Be specific if you like the color of her lipstick or the way her ass looks in those jeans. ESPECIALLY COMPLIMENT OUR LINGERIE. That shit is expensive and complicated to wear! Make us feel like it's worth it. On that note...

2. Let us pick out the lingerie you give us. If you want to give a lady a gift (lingerie or otherwise) there are three ways to do it:
a. gift card
b. take us shopping
c. have your lady make an online wishlist
I know you might want to surprise her, or have some say in what she wears. That's where C really comes in handy. But if she hates the lingerie you buy her, she's not going to want to wear it, which is pretty pointless! 

3. Let us lie the fuck down when you give us pleasure. Trust me, I like riding a dick or a face as much as anyone. But if I'm trying to cum, I need to be flat on my back relaxed and focusing. If you want a lady to ride your face for your pleasure, by all means ask, but don't view that as giving us pleasure if it's really mostly about your Queening fetish.

4. On that note- don't confuse your pleasure with her pleasure. Both of you deserve pleasure. But don't pressure her to do something she's not into by trying to convince her it's what she wants, if it isn't. If you ask what would give her pleasure and she says she wants massage, and five minutes into the massage you stick your dick in her from behind (this has happened to me WITH TWO DIFFERENT GUYS), you're not actually pleasuring her. You're cheating her of the thing she actually wanted in order to skip ahead to what you want. Not cool. 

4. Get good at using your hands. Learn how to give a yoni massage. Being touched with hands can feel as good as a dick or being eaten out, especially if it's all about just relaxing and receiving pleasure, with no rush, no pressure to come. Take your time. Seriously. Let her relax and receive pleasure 100% while you play with her nipples, her clit, massage her pussy, finger her, use toys, etc. Stay there a long time, unless she wants you to stop. Watch this video to see what I'm talking about. 

5. Stop trying to make her cum. I know, this sounds counter-intuitive. The truth is, you CAN'T make her cum. It's her body. Whether or not she has an orgasm is going to depend on a lot of factors, but pressuring her and pestering her to have an orgasm generally will have the opposite of the desired effect. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, don't take it personally, or try something else.


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6. Make friends with sex toys. I recommend that everyone own a Magic Wand Rechargeable (the original is great too, just less convenient) and an Njoy Pure Wand. These toys can be total game changers for waking up the clitoris and the g-spot. Explore them together but also let her have some solo time with them!

7. Let her drive the clit (if she wants to). I cannot cum from another person fingering or using a vibrator on a clit. My clit is very fussy and high maintenance. So don't be upset if she needs to work her clit herself, it's not a failure on your part. For me personally I love using a vibrator on my clit while being fucked by a partner, or having him finger my pussy- it's a surefire way for me to cum for me!

8. Most importantly ASK. And LISTEN! Don't assume you know what she wants, or what will make her cum or give her pleasure. Remember that if you make her happy, she'll make YOU happy <3